"Simple"

"I don't know why you always make things so hard, geez."
Erin slammed her door, leaving the white paint and "do not enter" sign swaying angrily back and forth. When did i lose my little girl? I knew she was going to grow up, but i never expected it to be this fast. Seems like only days ago she was begging me for veterinarian barbie, and suddenly she's slamming her door in my face because i won't let her go out on a school night. How could sixteen years have gone by so fast? Things used to be so simple.
Erin changed so much after her mother died. I remember her when she used to smile at me over breakfast, making funny faces with her pancakes and trying her best to get the last bit of her chocolate milk out of her cup. But, the past year had been hard on her, and me too. She started hanging out with her friends more, staying out later, and I've tried not to push her too hard, because things have been hard on both of us.
The week after the accident, we argued more than we'd ever done, but I know it was just because we were both hurting. We knew we weren't really mad at each other, just the situation, and the pain and the loss. Sometimes I wonder if she'll ever really talk to me about what happened. i know it can't be easy. She's only sixteen now, a hard age for anyone, but especially a young woman just growing up, and needing her mother. i can only do so much, and if I force her to confront things, I'm afraid I'll just push her away. I wish i knew what to do.
Amy was always the strong one, always knew just how to handle things. She'd always laugh and smile, and make everything better, even when everyone knew they really weren't. Just having her around made things seem less powerful, less important. She was our dragonslayer, our guardian, and when she ...well...when she left, i think we kinda fell apart. We're just now getting back, but it's been a hard road and we'll never quite have things back again.

I lay in the dark, staring up into the empty blackness, trying to find some light. Not even the moon is out tonight. the nights like this are the toughest. I miss her...miss her smell and her skin on mine. I miss her breathing against my chest and i miss just knowing that she's here, and safe and with her by me, so am I. So was I. I feel so weak now, so worthless. I feel like half...more than half...of who i was is just torn out of me. it's been a year, and it hurts as much as it did that second i realized she was gone...
I've tried moving on, getting life back but I don't know how, or even if I want to.
Amy is...was...no, is...my life..and I miss her. God, i miss her so much...