Referred

These kinds of things always made me nervous. I wasn't good with new people, and especially apprehensive when it came to doctors. But, i had been referred to a "specialist" after my last episode, so here i was,palms sweaty and heart racing as i approached the back alley door. The neighborhood was dingy and dirty and not the kind of place I'd expect a doctor, save maybe a seedy clinic that was a no-questions-asked kind of place. But, I was told that Doctor Forles was the best when it came to my...condition.

I knocked, and slid the small piece of paper i had been given through the slot in the dull gray door. Nothing. I waited a few moments and reached my hand up , but thought better of it, having being told to under no circumstances knock more than once. So, I stood there, feeling the dim light pressing down around me, each shadow feeling like it was going to at any moment dive at me, and take me away. Maybe it was part of the process, I thought, and laughed to myself, more a nervous sort of laugh, trying to calm down my overactive imagination than anything else. A few scuttling noises caught my attention, and i dismissed those -out of building terror- as a rat, or a cat in the garbage cans.

Thirty minutes stretched into an hour, and i stood there, still waiting, not a sound coming to indicate that anyone was even there. Why was i here again? A back alley in the middle of the night, in a city I didn't know, waiting for a mysterious doctor that may or may not even exist.

I cleaned my glasses for the hundredth time and loosened my tie. I'd worn my sport jacket from work and that tie I got last year at the company Christmas exchange. Beth. She'd drawn my name for it, and thought i needed some color. SO the tie was a reproduction of some artist's work, all straight lines and colored squares. I didn't care for it at first, but it became my favorite the more I talked to Beth. She was nice, but not my usual type. We'd gone out socially a few times but nothing serious. Maybe after this visit we'd go do something together. I really don't go out on dates,but if we kept it casual, I think we'd have a good time.

Another hour passed, and the cold was starting to creep in. I put my jacket back on, and considered going back to the car for my overcoat. I thought better of it, not wanting to miss the one chance I might get to see this...person. I wasn't even sure if the Doctor was a guy or girl. I'd just been given a name, a time, and a place, and the paper.

The street noise was dying down by now, adding to the disquiet of silence that was creeping upon me from every shadow. My mind kept running through scenarios, and I shook them out as best i could, trying to keep my thoughts on other things. I wish I'd brought my phone out of the car. At least then i could play tetris.